Dear Mom, Why Do You Treat Me As If I Am Dead?

I have tried to write this letter so many times before. I believe that I have the strength now to be able to express to you how much I love you and how much it hurts that you are shunning me….*

*𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑱𝒆𝒉𝒐𝒗𝒂𝒉’𝒔 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒉/𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍. 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒅.

Those are words that I have tried to express in many letters to my mother about my abusive background and her shunning as a Jehovah’s Witness. My mother has since returned to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and is shunning me over my outspokenness regarding their shunning policy that resulted in the suicide of my friend. She is also shunning my father who is an excommunicated Jehovah’s Witness. She shunned my late Uncle who was a former’s Jehovah’s Witness turned Muslim. It is a policy that alienated parents from children, husbands, and wives and pits the closet friends against each other.

Shunning hurts.

There are so many stories of Ex-Jehovah’s witnesses who suffer from trauma and become suicidal after losing family, friends and even spouses over the shunning policy of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

In my case I had to flee the emotionally and physically abusive relationship with my Mother. There is a saying that, “Hurt people, hurt people. This proved true in the case of my mother who endured the same scars of abuse from her own mother. My mother felt abandoned by my grandmother. My grandmother suffered from mental illness and was often abusive to my mother without conscience. The generational cycle of abuse continued in my home life by the hands of my parents. The shunning by mother feels like death because she treats me as if I am dead. No calls. No holidays. No visits to my children.

To be open, I am not looking forward to talking with my mother. I fear that she will be confrontational, unreasonable and cold. It is very likely that she will not respond.